God is God and I am not

So much has happened since I last posted. Eric finally moved down following graduation. It was good to get the opportunity to get back home and see family briefly. Eric's graduation went well and we were all so proud of his accomplishments.
It's been about a month now since he got here. It's definitely been a period of adjustment. Until this point we have not had the opportunity to live together as a married couple. Some days we rub each other the wrong way, and other days are pure joy. All the same, I am so thankful I get to go through this with him. He makes me want to be a better person each and every day.
He and I have some of the greatest conversations. I feel like God is teaching us so much. I feel like this is "the age of the church". The church is such an essential part of our survival in this world. I will be the first to admit my frustrations with the church and people in it. I have avoided going to church during certain times of my life and have been disappointed in how the church has responded or NOT responded to certain situations. Yet God is revealing to me....I am not in charge. You would think that as I fail time and time again that it would start to sink in that I am not in charge, I'm not as strong as I think I am, and frankly I'm just in the way sometimes!!! It is only thought my weakness that God can work through me and do big things for His kingdom. Like the Steven Curtis Chapman song says, "God is God and I am not, I can only see a part of the picture he's painting, God is God and I am man, so I'll never understand it all for only God is God." I think for a long time I have only been seeing part of the picture. I've been focusing on the humanity of church, pointing out the holes and weaknesses.... but not remembering that the church is full of sinners. THAT'S WHY WE'RE THERE. We admit that we are nothing, we are sinful, and anything but righteous. We need Christ.
I believe wholeheartedly that the devil's major plan is to divide us and distract us. We live in such a busy society. You must be borderline overwhelmed to be a contributor of society. You must demonstrate some sort of seniority over others. You must be successful according to the world's standards. The message is that if people aren't doing what you think they should, they need to either get it figured out or move on. Again, I admit totally and completely that I am SOOOOO guilty of thinking these things and placing these judgements on others. These are the things that divide and conquer us.
It is through the isolation of people that depression and suicidal ideation thrive. People need to be connected to people. It is the responsibility of the church to change this. The body is sooo important. Our creator is well aware of this and instructs us to be a part of the body. The body should all work together, no part is better or above another. In fact the bible even says that if your spiritual gift does not benefit those around you, don't even do it. REALLY?? We have this idea beat into our head to show off and prove that we have something others don't or we're better at it and we need others to see our gifts. Yet the bible says not to even bring that attitude or those actions around the body. If others don't benefit from your actions and what you're doing, there is no place for it.
How that would change my ways if I could keep that my focus. To only do the things that build others and encourage others. To remember it's not about me...